Give family and staff a usable role

Relatives can be targeted even if they hold no private keys. Include partners, children, older relatives and carers in the protection plan. Keep instructions short, practise without blame and encourage immediate reporting of mistakes. See the Paris family case in chapter 51. [S55]

Family agreements

• Keep travel timing, children's schools and household routines out of public posts and large group chats.
• Establish an emergency contact tree with a backup. Agree which channel is for ordinary updates and which requires immediate attention.
• Verify unexpected requests for money, a new pickup arrangement or a location change through a known channel. Do not rely only on a familiar voice.
• Tell children they do not need to know wallet details. Teach them whom to approach for help and how to describe their location in age appropriate language.
• Agree with schools or carers who may collect a child, how changes are verified and whom to call if the usual adult cannot be reached.

Household and assistant responsibilities

Use role based access: a driver needs the journey; a cleaner needs the agreed entry arrangements; an assistant needs booking information. None automatically needs reserve balances, recovery credentials or the full family schedule.

Where lawful, verify employment history and references, use clear confidentiality and access terms, and train staff in visitor and delivery handling. Apply consistent standards to everyone. Nationality, income or social background is not evidence that a person is untrustworthy.

Keep an access list for keys, fobs, gate codes, alarm accounts, cameras, Wi-Fi, shared calendars and document folders. Remove or change access promptly when someone leaves or their role changes. Notify building management when relevant. Return property and manage departures professionally.

Give permission to challenge authority

Tell the team explicitly: “You may pause an unusual instruction from me. You will not be punished for verifying it.” A control is ineffective if staff believe urgency or seniority overrides it.

Use a simple callback rule for changes to visitors, drivers, bank details and family pickups. Avoid vague directions such as “use your judgment” for high consequence exceptions.

Do not make family members security guards. Children, partners and staff should not confront intruders, investigate suspicious vehicles or hold financial secrets solely to strengthen your custody setup.

If a partner, relative or employee is the source of threats or coercive control, do not share the safety plan with them or treat a joint family drill as the remedy. Seek confidential specialist help and local police assistance for immediate danger.